Understanding Intrinsic Motivation: The Unlock to Sustaining Difficult Change

Can you think back to your younger self and remember an activity you could do for hours—effortlessly, joyfully, and without anyone asking you to?

Maybe it was the pull of a video game, where an entire weekend could vanish in what felt like the blink of an eye. Or afternoons spent practicing footwork with a soccer ball until the sun disappeared and you realized you'd forgotten to eat. Perhaps it was long, meandering conversations with a best friend, laughter echoing for hours as the outside world dissolved around you.

Those moments weren’t about achievement or rewards. They were about being fully immersed in something that lit you up from the inside out.

This is the starting point of a powerful kind of change work: reconnecting with what motivates you intrinsically—the things you do not for praise, prestige, or compensation, but because something in you is moved to do them. This is where sustainable, soulful change begins. 

In this section of the methodology, we focus on “Who you are” at your very core. This doesn’t mean its immutable – you’re probably not losing hours enraptured with your juggling anymore – but as it grows to reflect who you have become in this moment, so it remains a direct line to the things that make you tick from deep inside.

What Is Intrinsic Motivation?

Researchers like Edward Deci and Richard Ryan have spent decades studying motivation.

Their core insight?

There is a fundamental difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

Intrinsic motivation is driven by genuine interest, curiosity, enjoyment, or a sense of internal alignment. It's what compels you to do something simply because it feels meaningful, engaging, or right.

Extrinsic motivation, by contrast, is driven by external rewards—money, validation, recognition, or fear of consequence. And here’s the kicker: the presence of external rewards can actually dampen your intrinsic drive. Let me explain with a story.

Pizza, Pages, and the Cost of Extrinsic Reward

If you grew up in the U.S. in the '80s or '90s, you might remember a few cultural staples of public school life:

1. The D.A.R.E. program (with that one cop and his briefcase of "scare-you-straight" drug props).

2. An irrational lifelong fear of quicksand.

3. And… the Book It! program, where kids earned personal pan pizzas for reading books.

I loved reading long before Book It! entered my world. I memorized The Monster at the End of This Book before I could read it, and by first grade I was reading to my classmates while my teacher slipped out for a smoke. I read voraciously—not for prizes, but for joy.

Then came the pizza.

Suddenly, I was flying through short, grade-level books, cashing in for cheesy rewards. When my teacher capped my “pizza quota,” something strange happened: I didn’t go back to the big, challenging books I loved. I felt… demotivated. The game had changed. My internal reward system had been disrupted.

And that’s exactly what research tells us happens when intrinsic motivation is replaced by external incentives. We lose touch with what once felt natural, joyful, or self-directed.

Why This Matters for Change Design and Sustainment

In the world of behavior science and coaching, thinkers like Adam Grant and Daniel Pink have emphasized the importance of habit formation, strategic pairing of enjoyable and unenjoyable tasks, and emotional anchoring. All of that is easier—and more effective—when built on the solid foundation of intrinsic motivation.

When you're designing a major life change—whether it’s a career pivot, a new relationship to health, or the pursuit of a long-held dream—it’s essential to ask not just what you want to do, but why it truly matters to you.

Start with the things you do for their own sake. Then, go deeper: What is it about them that moves you?

For example, say you're considering a career change and you know that reading is a core passion. That’s a great start—but what’s underneath that?

Do you love reading because it gives you solitude and time to reflect? Or because it creates a sense of connection with shared human experiences? Or perhaps it's the thrill of discovery, a love for synthesizing facts, or an interest in how one moment in history interweaves across time and cultures to another?

Each of those motivations points toward a very different kind of role, environment, or lifestyle. One might steer you toward thought leadership and deep solo work. Another toward facilitation, community, or research. Another still toward strategy, policy, or design.

Anchoring Change with the Truth of You

Understanding your intrinsic motivators—and the emotional and cognitive needs they represent—is the key to designing change that sticks.

It’s not just about doing what you love. It’s about building plans that echo your deeper motivations. When the hard parts of change arrive (and they will arrive), those anchors will help you stay grounded and move forward with integrity.

So, here’s your reflection prompt:

What have you always loved doing, and what does that love say about you?

Let that question sit with you. Journal on it. Talk it out. Return to it often.

Because lasting change isn’t fueled by gritted teeth or gold stars. It’s fueled by something truer. Something that was always there, waiting to be remembered.