They Say It’s the Hope That Kills You

Yesterday I posted a video encouraging you to engage in all the tips and tactics to engage in the job hunt, without spending much time on how tough it can be. No matter how perfectly crafted your resume, how dazzling your interview stories, or how much you nailed that interview, rejection is inevitable. Let that sink in for a moment. You will not get every job you apply for, no matter how much you crush the process. And while that fact is hard, the hardest part isn’t the rejection itself—it’s what hope can do to you along the way.

Picture this: You’ve stumbled upon a job posting that feels tailor-made for you. Your resume is barely updated and sent before your heart starts racing. You can really see yourself in the role, imagining how you’ll get along with your new work-friends. You might even find yourself fantasizing about your first day outfit and the little smirk you’ll finally master in your badge photo. Then one day, your inbox pings. Excited, you open the email—only to find a generic rejection message. Ouch. You never even got to make your case!

And what about when you’ve gone through round after round of interviews? You’ve answered every question with cool confidence, bonded with the panel, and sent thank-you emails that would make Miss Manners proud. You’re this close—only to have the fantasy of that new work life come crashing down on you one day - they’ve gone with another candidate at the last minute.

It’s brutal.

The Hope-Rejection Roller Coaster

It’s tempting to say, “Well, maybe I should stop getting my hopes up.” But let’s be honest—that’s no way to live. Hope, excitement, and passion are what make you shine in interviews.

They’re contagious, and they give hiring managers a glimpse of how invested you’ll be in the role.

But here’s the catch: Hope also makes rejection feel personal. After a few of those “We regret to inform you…” emails, your confidence can take a hit. Imposter syndrome creeps in like an uninvited guest, whispering, “Maybe you’re not as qualified as you thought.” Suddenly, every accomplishment feels like a fluke.

The danger is real. If left unchecked, rejection can mess with your head in ways that affect not just your job search, but your sense of self-worth.

How to Stay Resilient

So, how do you navigate the rejection gauntlet while keeping your confidence in  your core self in tact? It all starts with reminding yourself of your own greatness and the value you bring to your work—then building habits that keep you grounded in this truth.

1. Build a “Brag File”

Keep a little reminder of your big accomplishments, and don’t be afraid to add to it. When you hit a milestone, save it. A glowing email from a client? Screenshot it. A project you crushed? Jot it down. Keep these wins in a folder or journal and revisit them when doubt creeps in. If you’re comfortable with it, display some achievements in your space—framed diplomas or certificates can work wonders as visual reminders. 

2. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Set goals for things you can control. Apply to three jobs a week. Take a free class online to sharpen a skill. Show up for a networking event (even if it’s virtual and you’re in sweatpants). Each step forward is proof that you’re growing, learning, and improving—even if you don’t land a job tomorrow, you have these receipts for the work you’re putting into it.

3. Take Care of You

Some of this will be very you-specific and some is wonderfully standard for all of us: Exercise. Eat well. Meditate. Not because self-care will magically land you a job, but because it keeps you feeling like your best self. Confidence starts with how you feel—so make choices that support your mental and physical health. You’re worth it and you show yourself that in the ways you take care of you.

4. Lean on Your Squad

Ted Lasso had it right: Believe. But also, lean into your team. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth. Whether it’s a best friend, a mentor, or a networking group, don’t hesitate to ask for encouragement when you need it.

A Word on Toxic Positivity

I’m not saying you should focus 100% relentlessly on believing in the face of each setback. Rejection sucks. It’s okay to take a day (or two) to mourn the opportunity you lost. Feel it. Acknowledge it. But don’t live there. Grieving is part of the process, but so is bouncing back.

In the long term, focus on the bigger picture. Every rejection is a step closer to the right opportunity. Keep showing up, keep believing, and keep doing the work.

It’s the Hope that Fills You?

Hope doesn’t kill you—it keeps you alive. It’s what makes you get back up and try again. And the best part? The right opportunity will come. You just need to stay in the game long enough to meet it.

So, hold your head high, keep believing in yourself, and remember: Your time to shine is coming.