The V in Thrive Coaches: Why Specific Values Matter More Than You Think
- Sara Mangan Ramelb
- Apr 11
- 3 min read
We’re wrapping up aligning who you are with what you’re changing, and who you are—really are—today, can’t be understood without an examination of values.
But I’m not talking about vague aspirations or Insta-friendly affirmations. This isn’t about slapping buzzwords on a vision board or borrowing corporate lingo (“integrity,” “teamwork,” etc.) for the sake of appearances.
This is about the real stuff: the internal compass that guides your sense of purpose across different aspects of your life.
Why Values?
Because we are gloriously complex creatures.
We have overlapping, sometimes even contradictory, motivations. And when you're in the messy middle of a change—or staring down a tough decision—your values are what help you cut through the noise. Just like we explored with intrinsic motivation, aligning your actions with what actually matters to you makes your journey sustainable, resilient, and way more fulfilling.
But here’s the twist:It’s not about choosing one or two shiny “core values” that define you as a whole. It’s about mapping your values contextually—looking at what gives you a sense of meaning in each distinct area of your life.
What you value in a romantic partner is probably not the same as what you value in your closest friendship. And what energizes you at work likely differs from what matters most in your family life.
Want an example? Let’s get personal.
For most of my life, I’ve been driven by a deep desire to be helpful. I’ve always admired people who seem to help effortlessly, and I’ve sought out ways to do the same.
Early in my career, this naturally led me toward helping professions. I worked as a service coordinator for individuals with disabilities. I went to grad school to be a high school teacher. I assumed that was my ultimate alignment: helping = values = career fulfillment. But over and over, something didn’t feel quite right.
What I discovered was this: in my personal life, yes—being helpful is a core value. I love dedicating time, energy, and even money toward helping others. It feeds me.
But at work, that’s not enough.
What I actually value most in the professional realm is impact. I can work hard (I often do), but hard work doesn’t always lead to real outcomes. Sometimes it’s just busywork tied to someone else’s random idea of success.
For me to feel fulfilled professionally, I need to be in a high-functioning team, tackling meaningful problems, and driving visible results—not chasing pet projects or spinning in organizational politics.
Your Turn: What Do You Value—Really?
This is where the rubber meets the road.
Pull out the Life Wheel (Circle Worksheets Below) and take a look at the key domains of your life.
Then, ask yourself:
What drives my sense of purpose in this area?
What values must be honored for me to feel fulfilled?
Where might I be operating under someone else’s values—and how’s that working out?
(Need a spark? Here’s a list of values to get you thinking.)
This is not easy work. It requires going through the stories of your past and seeking evidence for the beliefs you’ve been hanging onto, and being open to a new interpretation, And remember: if you're exploring a creative change, don’t get distracted by your wellness values. If you’re rethinking your relationships, your work values won’t apply. Stay contextually specific.
Because once you know what really matters in each domain, you’ll have a powerful tool for navigating change—and creating a life that feels like yours.
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