Plotting the Course: Why Mini Wins and Micro-Adventures Matter More Than You Think

This past weekend, my husband and I drove halfway across the country and back. In three days.

The mission was simple: deliver a car to my older stepson so he could begin his own cross-country summer internship adventure in California. As it turned out, my younger stepson had just flown home from his East Coast college the same day—for less than 24 hours—before heading off to his own internship. The timing was perfect, and rare. One precious day with both boys in one place. One full day of reconnection before we all set off in different directions again.

The trip itself was exhausting and exhilarating.

We revisited the small Midwestern town where we raised the boys—where I myself lived for nearly a decade. And though only two years have passed since we moved away to resume our lives in a larger city filled with music, art, and movement, the contrast was staggering. That place felt warm and familiar… but no longer mine. Like a ‘perfect for the season’ sweater I’ve outgrown. I miss the boys, and that stage of life, of course. And I miss the price of a meal out. But I don’t miss living there.

And yet—what a gift to be briefly immersed again in that old version of our life. To drive past former haunts and favorite diners. To experience the flood of nostalgia. To notice the bittersweet mix of who we were and who we’ve become.

It made me reflect on something I’d been reading on the trip—Shige Oishi’s Life in Three Dimensions. In it, he argues that a fulfilling life isn’t built by stacking up one massive achievement after another. Instead, well-being is layered across three dimensions: happiness, meaning, and psychological richness. And it’s that third dimension—psychological richness—that often gets overlooked.

It’s not about comfort. It’s not about consistency. It’s about novelty. Curiosity. Exploration. Contrast.

The experiences that shake up your usual way of thinking and let in some light. And these can also be found by re-visiting a favorite book, album or movie from a different vantage point in your life. Something old can have a profound impact when it’s viewed through your own fresh eyes!

You know, the kind of experience you get from a road trip you weren’t planning to take until a couple weeks ago.

We tend to chase milestones—the job title, the home purchase, the graduation ceremony—as the markers of a life well-lived. But sometimes, it’s the mini wins that carry more weight. The unplanned detour. The shared meal in an unexpected city. The single day when two almost-grown boys, shaped by love and time and effort, find themselves back in your arms for a too-short embrace.

Or the moment when you realize you’ve made time for something just for you. That you’ve grown into someone who regularly treats herself to shows, museum visits, and exercise classes—because they bring you joy, not because they “check a box.”

Years ago, I couldn’t imagine carving out this kind of space for myself. I was in the thick of work, caregiving, family logistics. If I got a pedicure once a month, it felt like a rebellion. But these days, I’m in a season of self-return. A season where I’m no longer trying to prove myself through big, dramatic reinventions—but rather through integration. I’m stitching together who I was, who I am, and who I’m becoming into something steady, evolving, and deeply honest.

And you know what fuels that stitching? Experiences. Especially the unexpected, the unplanned, the off-the-map ones. Even—especially—the small ones.

Mini wins like finishing a book. Getting on the mat for ten minutes. Watching a sunset while your phone’s still in your bag. Having a spontaneous heart-to-heart during a pit stop in Iowa. These don’t make headlines. But they do make a life.

So here’s what I invite you to consider: If you’ve been waiting for the next big milestone to mark progress or permission… stop waiting.

Try something new instead.Book a small trip. Drive a different route. Take yourself to lunch. Sign up for the class no one else wants to take with you. Find a pocket of your day to do something that stirs your curiosity—not your productivity.

Let this season of your life be marked not just by the major achievements, but by the richness of your days. Because exploration doesn’t require a passport. And growth doesn’t always come in milestone form.

Sometimes, it looks like a long drive, a quick reunion, a slow moment of joy—and the sense that you’ve arrived more fully in yourself.